The Debaser [Online]

Madeleine Stratton (written by Lachlan Guselli)

Is it un-cool to still love the Backstreet Boys? Is it pathetic to still want Taylor Hanson? I think it probably is, but Madeleine doesn’t let that phase her in the slightest.

She brings to The Debaser most things that Tom and I lack. Intelligence, class and a social conscience that doesn’t involve ripping on anybody you can think of. Madeleine is full of every line from every TV show you ever forgot and remembers every terrible 90’s band that you wished you did.

A former UTS Journalism student (yes, she did manage to graduate), she currently holds down a day-job as an editorial and production assistant in publishing while engaging in her true passion, The Debaser [online], in the dead of the night when she thinks no one is watching (she's wrong, we are).

One of the first times I met her was at a birthday party, I was immediately taken aback by the ease with which she lit up the room with her charm and wit. It may also have something to do with the Fluro Green Headband she was wearing and the 50 million pieces of jewelry.

So when she inevitably leaves The Debaser for a zillion dollar job with News Corp or somewhere else in the media we will keep this profile up here to raise our credibility to a level that makes us palpable to the audience, and drop hers just that little bit.

She will be writing, editing, and starring in videos, podcasts and admonishing me for some of the most terrible journalistic ideas ever that will thanks to her, never see the light of day. She is Madeleine Stratton the brains and the beauty behind The Debaser.

Actually in a pursuit for balanced Journalism, let’s point out some faults she has…. I am certain at some stage she must have at least picked her nose once, and lets face it everybody poops! I guess nobody is perfect.

Likes -
Backstreet Boys
Chocolate Croissants
Using University resources for commercial gain
Brita Betta water

Dislikes -
Eggs
Poor grammar
Tom's, under, use, of, commas.
Summer

Lachlan Guselli (written by Madeleine Stratton)

Lachlan Guselli is a man with a knife sharp wit, a keen ear for music, and a hunger for news rivalling that of the cookie monster's for, well, carrots according to my most recent viewing of Sesame Street.

So yes, Lachlan (or Gus as he is affectionately known by me), is the one who dreamed up our little publication here. He's the one who got the ball rolling, the one who wanted to stand up and stick it to mainstream media like one sticks a piece of dirty chewed up gum under a uni desk or into someone else's hair.

The Debaser is his brainchild, and he guards over it with the ferocity of a wolf, and will go for the jugular of anyone who says anything bad about it, so no hate mail people, or you'll find yourself one jugular short of a fully functioning circulatory system.

Actually he's not that scary. Not just an editor, he's really a very nice guy, so nice that he doubles as my personal chauffeur when it comes to getting to and from all Debaser-related functions (and i appreciate it).

Lachlan also came up with the brilliant idea of including the slow and deliberate consumption of French pastries with jam and chocolate as a compulsory part of all team meetings. He's good like that.

Lachlan has epiphany after epiphany when it comes to ways we at The Debaser can not only undermine the mainstream media and present the news to you guys the way YOU want to see it, but I have no doubt he'd be capable of coming up with a zillion different unique and creative ways that would enable me to stick gum in EVERYONE's hair with great stealth and subtlety (seriously, watch out).

While at times his creative juices flow so fast Tom and myself find ourselves at risk of being the next drowning victims on Bondi Rescue, without him, The Debaser would be empty and soulless, and a thoroughly boring read. And nobody wants that now do they.

Likes -
Beer
Tax write-offs
The Debaser
Guitar Solos

Dislikes -
People who steal shoes
The woman in his street who stole his soccer ball
Glen's Letterbox

Tom Bisson (written by Lachlan Guselli)

I first met Tom in the midst of a street cricket game. His older brother was trundling in off the long run and trying to get my brother out. It was a heated summer day when some little kid ran out in his boardies and towel yelling about something in a hilariously pommy accent it was like some kid out of Oliver Twist.

The year passed and Tom lost his accent, sadly as I thought it was the only charming thing about him, but he developed the nerdiest and useful of abilities - he became a guy who knows his weight in business knowledge and how to create Websites.

Tom is not a particularly zany web guru; I would go so far as to not even call him a nerd, even though I would love to. He hides his nerdness behind an eyebrow ring and cool cars that he can’t afford.

Tom spends his days listening to me nag incessantly about the ways of the world, playing Bass guitar and owning all and sundry on Rock Band and Guitar Hero. The flurry of fingers you will witness as he busts out Freebird, Green Grass and High Tides, or as he hammers the rubber and plastic drum kit to the sultry sounds of Wont Get Fooled Again are an aural pleasure.

Living with his dad and the most annoyingly loveable cat Buster, Toms knowledge of cars, website design, ways to run a business, and awesome cooking skills give The Debaser team a little bit of corporate edge that we so sorely needed. I still wonder what the hell a business plan is but, I don’t have to worry about that anymore now Tom is here.

Of course he has his bad elements, he runs like a girl, cant shoot a 3 pointer to save himself (maybe not true) and he is as pasty as a ghost, but that’s nothing to throw him in the lake about….. Oh but his first album was the Backstreet Boys' Backstreets Back. Unforgiveable.

Likes –
Nerd Things
Having more money than me
Cool Cars
Live Music
Kobe Bryant (maybe clouded by my love for him)

Dislikes -
Me having no money
People that leave too much of a gap between cars in traffic
Songs by Soko
Lachlan's overuse of commas.